New Year’s is the time of year where we commit to new habits, behaviors, and goals with the intention of moving us forward in various domains of our individual lives. What about our relationships? What if we also use this time as an opportunity to commit to new habits, behaviors, and goals for the various relationships we’re in? How might doing this transform not only our relationships but ourselves?
This idea was born out of a conversation I had with my husband, Tom, over the holidays. We had been talking about our relationship and what we’d like to see more of or less of in 2011 and it occurred to me that perhaps we could create a relationship resolution out of this conversation. For both of us, the answer was ‘more snuggle time.’ We talked about what this meant for each of us and came up with a list of things we could each do to fulfill the other’s desire for more snuggle time. In addition to deepening our relationship, this conversation helped to open up our assumptions about what the other wanted. Knowledge about our partner’s wants helps us to be better ‘gift givers’ in the largest sense of the word. When we give the gift that our partner most wants (whether it be encouragement/acknowledgement, physical touch, an actual present, quality time, etc.), we become more attuned to each other and the relationship naturally deepens.
So we’re doing more snuggle time this year and I’m curious about you… What’s your relationship resolution for 2011? Please comment and let me know and share any success stories throughout the year under the ‘success stories’ tab.
Think of a particular relationship that you’d like to tend for the coming year and enroll this person in a conversation. Discuss what you both could do more of or less of to deepen the relationship – you may come up with the same area for growth or you may each have different areas. As you’re having this conversation, be as authentic and loving as you can, listening to the other’s perspective and asking probing questions to reveal any assumptions. What do you notice as a result of this conversation?